Hani Henry, who is chair and associate professor of Psychology in the Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology of the AUC, believes that Robert Sternberg’s psychological theory explains why people fall in love, and they are in fact the most common reasons, which are intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Intimacy
A basic friendship is a relationship that involves a person falling in love with another person for intimate reasons. It lacks commitment and passion. Henry explained that intimacy isn’t just about developing a close bond with someone. It can be self-serving. Everyone likes to feel cared for and loved. Women want to feel feminine, while men want to feel masculine.
Intimacy is captured perfectly in Adele’s Hello song. Adele contacts her ex boyfriend and reveals her feelings of heartbreak about the relationship in the song’s chorus. She explains that many years have passed and she hasn’t done much healing. “Her lyrics speak for many people who are looking to make an emotional connection, whether it’s with someone they know or in a relationship that lasts a few months,” he explained.
Passion
Normal to fall in love out of desire or strong feelings is normal. gitari is developed as a result of feelings that lead to sexual attraction, physical interest and romance. Henry stated, “When someone you like is attracted to you by something that draws them to that person.” “The attraction is physical, and there is a fascination with the hair, eyes and body.”
In the absence of intimacy and commitment, infatuation is developed with the person you love. “People are drawn and quickly develop lust. Some people are obsessed and see that person as a type of object. He stated that it is possible to be together for years with someone and not feel a commonality.
Commitment
Complete love requires commitment. He stated that those who are committed want stability and a healthy partner. “People who are only looking for commitment might lack basic friendship interests and sexual attraction.”
Henry stated that today’s young adults are more concerned about objects than they are about relationships. He explained that objectification is a result of consumerism. The more consumerist a culture is, the less people are interested in making commitments. Some youth are more interested in impressing people they don’t care about. Everything must be consumed, even relationships with other people.
Love Outside the Triangular Theory
Sternberg’s love theory is universally applicable. However, everyone has their own reasons for falling in love. Your reason for falling madly in love does not necessarily have to be explained by science. Henry stated that some personal needs could include the fear of being alone or social peer pressure, fulfillment, or religious values.
No matter what psychology says about love, our choice of type of love defines who we are. Each of us has our own ways of understanding what makes our lives happy and meets our human needs. “Some people are caught with a need that meets each dimension of the triangle and they can’t give up on two because of the different needs they get. Love is very complex.”